important little darlings

there i was lying in bed last night thinking about how great and interesting it would be to write a blog discussing punctuation and grammar. primarily its usage arguments. looking at my previous entries it would be concluded that i route for the minimalist approach. some might say i am being lazy or raw. i tend to agree. only dicks don't use proper grammar claiming it interferes with their flow. thus and therefore, i am a pretty big dick. however, moving forward i sought out what could be called one of my most horrid punctuative errors. no, it is not the blatant disregard for capitalization. yes, i should probably use complete sentences. no, i needed to write about something that would stir up emotion. you've all done it. my college English teacher called me out on it, rest her wretched soul. one could say that one of the most common errors and my common error would be the comma splice. makes me want to punch walls how i can't figure that shit out. shhhhhh.
so i began my research on punctuation, thinking, "i got this." it won't be no Eats, Shoots & Leaves but it will surely bring entertainment to the average American audience who remembers practically nothing from their education. if you are like me you do not care about punctuation until it hits you that you need it like heroin. once you take that step in editing there is no going back. it starts to rule you. how can i possibly convey what i am trying to convey without the insightful, delightful dictatorship that is proper punctuation. since i lack little dot marks no one knows what i am trying to say and everything i write is completely ambiguous. damn...it. it is alright. true genius meddles in the arts of frustration and tedium. the point is through doing a minimal amount of research as usual i have found that the world of punctuation is great and vast. i would be here forever blabbing about it. that is just not my style, i have some sleeping to do. so the best thing would be to choose something in the "field" i'll say of comma splicing to give an example of how one would welcome nails on a chalkboard before attempting to analyze...the serial comma. also known as the Oxford or Harvard comma, bastards.
it goes like this: the serial comma is the comma used directly before a conjunction like and or or. Consider this sentence for example, "When I go on vacation I mustn't forget my umbrella, herpes medication, and scientific calculator." Heh, where is that person going, anyway. that little comma after "medication" is the serial comma. now i will admit to purposefully never using and in fact being avidly against the serial comma. i just assumed it was redundant. also, someone in the keansburg school system taught me this way. who cares right? without the serial comma who is to say that people would not think that my herpes medication WAS infact my scientific calculator? blurred meanings make for ages of literary interpretation. this is my goal anyway. a nerd-centered writing system will baffle lit freaks for milena. but it is really up to you to do your own research on the serial comma to see where you stand. do you want to represent the Australians and leave it out or AMERICA and include the serial comma. Who are you going to believe? the new york times pssh, or friggin Strunk and White? people can change. after all of these years of prejudice i have become a full convert to the usage of the serial comma.
i hope this life changing information has inspired yous to use correct punctuation or at least to never disregard something as seemingly unimposing as a little biddy comma.